Five more minutes!
This is how my 4 year old starts negotiating. Five more minutes until we leave the playground, television or her best friend’s place.
This doesn’t always work. Sometimes the baby is crying and we have to leave right away. Sometimes we’ve already run late. But it works quite often.
She gets five more minutes until I get ready to leave or turn the TV off.
Even if she doesn’t succeed to get her five minutes for a couple of times, she won’t give up. There is always a chance and she will do all her best to get the chance.
Do I do the same? Not always. I usually prejudge the answer. They won’t let us. Let’s not hear the no.
Once she asked me to take her to a random bouncy castle on a school yard. I was sure they won’t let us and told her not to get upset when she hears no. But they welcomed us and gave us crafts and snacks. All of us had a great time there and I was really surprised. Would I ask if it wasn’t her insistence? I wouldn’t.
Hearing no is always upsetting. Even in small requests. But this is an inevitable part of the path to achieve what we need, or want.
There is no guarantee to hear yes when you ask, but it’s guaranteed that it’s a no when you don’t ask, don’t bargain, or don’t start negotiation.
If you want something, negotiate it.